Victorious-A Personal Word from DiDi

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again to you all now:growing up, my life was really rough. I spent the majority of my childhood in and out of state’s custody, moving around so much that sometimes in just one year I would attend 12-14 different schools. This is no lie-I would bounce back and forth between Louisiana, Texas, and Tn. It was hard on me, but what was worse was trying to overcome certain obstacles on my own. Even counselors were no help, some of them saying I inspired them..basically telling me they couldn’t say anything to me that I didn’t already know myself..I struggled with addictions, anger, depression, guilt, shame, regret, and so much more. I’d suffered physical, emotional, mental and sexual abuse. I had no parental figure to look to for guidance until I was about 17 years old, and by then the damage had been done and I’d begun to sabotage all my relationships. Statistics say I shouldn’t have made it through. I’m more than a statistic. After suffering because of my own family, I began to make poor choices when it came to relationships. I spent 7 and a half years off and on in an abusive relationship, and I’m lucky I came out of it alive. I know the streets of projects and I know the lit corners of the suburbs. I know what goes on at buildings labeled as 24 hour modeling studios, and I know all the gossip that’s whispered in the dim dressing rooms of cabarets..I know what’s it’s like to be a stereotype, and I know what it’s like to never really fit in at all. I’ve been to the extremes and just about everywhere in between. Back when I was about 18, I shared my testimony at the only church with youth ministers that could speak to my heart. In 2005, up until about 2007, I had a Myspace account where I spilled out all the details of my past and tried to help others like me. I know of at least one person that could relate and read my blogs daily. I was forced to believe, or at least pretend to believe, that the past is the past-that it has no effect on my future. For years, I was told to respect the very man that had abused me..to call him Dad..I’m sharing this with my readers to offer hope. I can’t tell you to take that straw out of your nose, to get down off that pole, to find a job and stop sleeping at the bus stop…..I cannot force you to go back to school despite your age and toughen up, I can’t make you believe there really is something more, something better out there for you..But I can offer you what I know, and I can show you where I am now. I haven’t truly gotten drunk in 3 years, nor have I touched any drugs or even considered it. I’m engaged to a man that saw me at my worst and loved me through it. I’ve distanced myself from the people that would love nothing more than to drag me down with them, or at least lead me there. Don’t be a statistic. I have scars on my arms to show me everyday:You were weak, and you became strong, you were at the bottom and you rose up..you could have given in, but you hung in there. I promise you, it’s worth the fight. Even after the 6 years I’ve spent trying to just graduate with my high school diploma, it’s been worth it, because I know I am the one bettering my future, and I know no one can do it for me. There’s some out there that seem to have it all (though we all have our own issues and drama, and this is not a comparing game)-they have people buying them cars, handing them jobs, offering them a place to say and a warm bed and handing them money. If you’re not one of those people, then you just aren’t one of those people..and honestly, there’s no better feeling than achieving something on your own. I encourage you (because that’s all I can really do) to find your motivation and let it drive you..to search out your true passion and let it consume you. Join a support group, if you think that could help. Here’s a wonderful site:

http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/abuse.htm

I know I originally created this blog to host my Sims 3 stories…..but I can’t deny that I am who I am, and I care about people and where they are coming from. The world is a crazy, tough, and scary place sometimes, and when not enough people speak out there’s some that can feel like they are all alone. But you’re not-you are NOT alone..I swear it. I would hate to think I might ever pass over the opportunity to share my story and help someone. Not if it is in my power to do so. It makes me cry, to think of how many people out there have experienced so much pain, struggled so much..so close to just wanting to give in..

 

Again, do not be a statistic. Be a survivor, not a victim..and come out victorious.

My eternal love~

DiDi

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~ by Daylilypetals on 11/18/2009.

2 Responses to “Victorious-A Personal Word from DiDi”

  1. Thank You for sharing your story. May the Holiday Season Bless You!

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