Part 2; I Have To Know

I Have To Know

I Have To Know

“Nastasia, where have you been! We’ve all been worried sick! Damon called and said you never made it to the library and that you didn’t answer your phone at all-“”I left it at school again,”she responded, cutting off her father’s sentence in a cold and detached voice. Fred shook his head, and Nastasia ignored him as she breezed past him, heading for the comfort of the suede couch and already searching around for the remote. “Well, Damon’s here. He’s in the upstairs den, practicing for his band’s competition next week. He’s been here for hours. I told him we’d call when you got in, but he wanted to see you for himself..know that you’re alright and all that.” Remote in her hand, Nastasia swirled around and headed for the stairs. “Don’t forget your phone again, Nastasia!”, Fred hollered to her retreating back.

Nastasia paused at the landing and watched as Damon strummed out the last few chords of his punk rock love song he’d been working on all week. When he was done, Nastasia finally spoke. “I always love it when you bring your guitar over, Damon. I love to hear you sing.” Damon looked up but didn’t move. Then an angry look came over his face as he continued to stare at his best friend of 11 years. Great, thought we go. “I am so pissed at you, Nastasia! Do you know how many times I called your phone!? Couldn’t you at least have answered to say you weren’t coming?” Nastasia blew her bangs out of her eyes with a frustrated sigh. “Okay Damon, you have a right to be pissed, and I know you were worried but I didn’t even have my phone on me! I left it in my locker!” “Fine, that’s fine, but then where were you? You weren’t here. I know, because I called Fred and Catherine and they said so.” “I was waiting at the bus stop so I could catch the bus and meet you at the library. I had..Mom’s..journal with me. I guess I just got so into it I lost track of time, because the next thing I knew it was dark out and everyone was gone..It was an accident Damon..It’s not like I stood you up on purpose.”

Damon didn’t answer. He simply began to strum on his guitar. Nastasia crossed the room to take a seat before the chess table and listen as he played. It was another song she’d heard him practice before..a slow song with no lyrics, but the chords were hollow and eerie. Nastasia got goosebumps every time he played it. When the song was through, Damon pulled the strap off his shoulder and tucked his guitar awkwardly under his arm. His eyes burned into hers across the space between them that seemed to grow and expand, until it was no longer just a space, but a uncrossable chasm. With a cracked voice, Damon finally chose to break the silence. “I know this has all been hard on you..and I know that you’re scared, and maybe a little confused. Hell, I’m scared for you..but just because you have issues or whatever, that doesn’t make it right to just keep forgetting about me, or your other friends for that matter.” Nastasia started to speak, but Damon spoke over her, drowning her out. “Yeah, Hillary and Camille told me how you ditched plans with them last week and told them the same thing you’re telling me now. And Justice called Zac and Zac called me when you cancelled going to Justice’s birthday party at the last minute-she thought something was wrong..she said you didn’t sound okay when you called her….You’re letting this stuff take over your whole life!”

Nastasia knew she could bite back. She could defend herself. Damon was right, she was letting it take over her life-it was her life. She knew she’d be justified in standing up for herself..but Nastasia sat there, perfectly still, and let her best friend vent. His words continued to flow and yet Nastasia began to drift off. And as her mind drifted, Nastasia knew that she couldn’t go on this way anymore. She knew it was time to get answers. I have to know, she thought. I have to do whatever it takes to know, all of it..even the ugly parts I’m scared of knowing…I have to know it all.

Nastasia couldn’t say for sure when Damon had reached the end of his rant, but as her mind cleared she suddenly realized she was sitting in the den alone.


~ by Daylilypetals on 11/26/2009.

3 Responses to “Part 2; I Have To Know”

  1. Hi Didi
    Now I feel like I have to know as well… How did Onomara become Nastasia (unless I’m wrong on that)and what happened to Zef and Adoria (speaking of which that description of the dream/nightmare gave me the chills)? I’m left with a mix of emotions, as well as pondering how such a happy ending in TTBE could be followed by such a sad beginning … It’ll be interesting to see what you’ve got up your sleeve as the story progresses.

  2. lol, I love it so much when readers really get involved with the stories and share their thoughts!
    Let us not forget the title of the story…
    To The Bitter End.
    I’m not really one to fall for happy endings. Happy endings are merely stop lights on the road full of pain and obstacles that is life. However, it’s those moments of true pain and hurt that make us ever more grateful for the happy times, right?

    Believe me, you’re on the right track.

    Sometimes we love someone, despite their faults..we love someone to the bitter end…

  3. Hi Lilydee,

    Another beautifully written chapter. I so understand Onamara wants to know more, yet is afraid of finding out at the same time. I guess she has been adopted… I really wonder who ripped the missing pages from the Memory Book. What a shame, Ardoria poured so much time, effort and love into it.
    I guess her friends don’t understand how terrifying it can be not to know your full background, who your parents are, where you come from… and ultimately, who you really are.

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