Hypnagogic Hallucinations

How long had she been sitting this way, pen poised mid air above paper? Adoria layed the pen on her desk and slowly closed her diary, then stood and crossed to the window in her room overlooking the pond.Pressing a palm to the frosty glass she released a breath she had not known she’d been holding for…for how long now?

Adoria looked down at her swollen stomach and smiled tenderly.

She stripped off her clothes while walking to the bathroom across the hall and turned on the tub faucet. As the hot water spurted, then poured in a steady stream, Adoria added a small amount of lilac bubble bath and stepped into the tub. The steam and the ataractic aroma filling the room caused Adoria’s eyelids to begin to droop. She welcomed the tranquility and let herself slip a little deeper into the bubbly water. Who knew a simple bubble bath could be so soporific?

Images began to play with Adoria’s mind. Behind her closed lids these images appeared blurry..faded from time and discolored..washed  out…but as she declined more into her aerial unconsciousness the images formed substance and transformed. Suddenly she could see it all as if it was right there before her….

 

  

                    Zefania scattered the papers high in the air above his head and Adoria watched as they showered down, some catching the breeze from the open window..One flew with the wind and found its final resting place amid the flaming embers in the  fireplace.  She stood in silence. A crackle as the flames licked the corners of the paper, then consumed it, turning it into nothing more than black ash…    “Please don’t”, she whispered.  Zefania was not listening. She turned to better see his face which was flickering with emotions she could not make out. Zefania blew out the last candle lit in the room. The only light now came from the sparks of fire, and even that was beginning to die out. Adoria longed to reach out and touch Zefania, but indecision held her back. “Please, Zef..You have to understand..She is not just some THING I can unaffectedly rid myself of..She is my child..she is your daughter!”   “Don’t! I don’t want to hear anymore! How can you do this, Day? How can you do this to me..You would risk your life..our life together? That is how much you love me?”  Lightning crashed in the background and the flames died out, leaving them in darkness as rain started to fall heavily. All the world was black.   “I love you, Zefania. I have always loved you, and I will love you until the day I die-”  “Do…not..say..that,” Zefania ground out.  “Please..please Zef…she is our child..our baby. Please love her as I love her..”  “All I know, all I feel…all I’ll ever know is that my life would be incomplete without you. There is no one that could ever fill the void if I were to lose you, Day’Lee. You are my everything. You are asking me to be okay with this? To possibly face a life without you in it?….I cannot do that.”  “I will not give her up, Zefania. I won’t do it-you cannot ask that of me! Please!”  “I’m not asking anything of you, Day’Lee..not anymore.”  “What..what do you mean?”    She could not see, only hear, as he walked to the door and his feet stomped down the stairwell. “No..no…don’t do this! Don’t you dare just leave me here!”  The front door slammed closed. Adoria sank to her knees. “No…no..please no..please don’t go..”

***********************************

“No..no..” The mental images shattered as Adoria pulled her head from the water, gasping for air.Expeditiously, Adoria climbed out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her now pink and soft body. She headed straight back to her room and sat at her desk once more…….


One Response to “Hypnagogic Hallucinations”

  1. This must be – without doubt – your best written piece of the whole story so far! And it did not need any pictures at all… those would have only taken awy from the powerful effect of your words.
    Stunning!

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